So, Maimi Steph, Nancy and I were walking back to Steph's condo in Provo last week when we saw this spider in the stairwell:
That's a pretty big spider by my standards. This prompted me to ask the ladies "have you ever seen what a spider's face looks like?" They didn't seem interested in discussing it. In fact, they seemed more interested in distancing themselves from this spider. But I was being serious.
Consider this, if you will: Most people hate spiders, and are scared and/or freaked out by them. Especially large ones, it seems. The part that I've always found ironic about this, is that they are scared by the spider when it is feet away from them, only able to discern the general shape of it's legs, thorax and abdomen. If they would only look closer... much much closer, they would see the scariest part of the spider..... THE SPIDER'S FACE. Spider faces must have been designed by God for one purpose, and one purpose only: to instill fear into the heart of man. They have anywhere from six to eight eyes, and sharp, powerful, fangy jaws. Sometimes large, venemous fangs at that.
As I began to explain this phenomenon to the ladies, they walked off.... back to the spider-free confines of the condo. I had to take a close-up photo to demonstrate my point, and they sure as hell weren't too psyched to make any close-up eye contact with this puppy. So, I gently and tactfully moved the spider over to a brigher light (I knew the camera flash would surely draw the wrath of the spider fang) and positioned my camera as close to the spider's face as the camera could get and still maintain a good lens focus. I was able to snap the folllowing picture, thankfully in one take:
If you look closely at the above photo (by clicking on it), you can actually see a silhouetted reflection in the spider eyes of me taking the picture. Look at the two largest eyes on top. See what I mean? The Spider's Face is BY FAR the most instinctively frightening feature of the spider, but most people never even get to see it. Mull this over as you lie in bed tonight. Picture The Spider's Face as you fall asleep. Sweet dreams.