Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Tortola II

Remember, in the last post, when I exclaimed "This is what I'm talking about!!"? Well, I need to issue a retraction: THIS is what I'm talking about!! John and I rented a car yesterday, to really see the island of Tortola. WOW, what a FUN day. Just plain awesome.....

Behold.... the little car that could.... and did.... the DIAHATSU CHARADE!:

We visited Jordi and Kate up at Jordi's relative's mountaintop residence. The term "incredible" doesn't even do it justice. If Jordi's relatives are reading this, THANK YOU for your hospitality on this day. What a truly special little spot on the world you have created for yourself. You are truly blessed..... just awesome:

Yes, that's a swimming pool you see up here:


This pic is an attempt at capturing the steep, curvy and precarious nature of the roads through the Tortola mountains. When I say "roads", I mean more like concrete goat path switchbacks. Our little Daihatsu amazed me all day with her ability to scale these slopes in granny gear, even with four people and ten gallons of water:
The views were..... literally breathtaking. Keep your eyes on the road.... stay left:

Roadside bag lunch with a view:

This is "Bomba" of "The Bomba Shack" fame. Ladies, give your panties to Bomba, and you shall be blessed. Not my idea, his:
This is the Bomba Shack Mission Statement. Click on it to enlarge it and read it. It's pretty cool:



The Bomba Shack is the home of the notorious Mushroom Tea Full Moon parties. We just missed the last one, but as you can see.... we get another chance every 28 days. Look closely.... a Sunday River sticker!! Where are my Sugarloaf stickers when I need them?! I'm a bad Sugarloafer since 1977. That's right, even though my allegiance lies with the 'Loaf (and the 'Bird), it was still cool to see this sticker:



Today, Jordi and Kate rejoin Team Audax, we sail back to St.Thomas to pick up Erin, then it's off ISLAND HOPPING for the next few days. SWEET!! Jost Van Dyke.... Virgin Gorda.... Norman Island..... Peter Island.... Anegada.... hmm.... choices.... choices..... who knows what the wi-fi deal will be on this adventure, so we may be looking at a multiple day blog hiatus, folks. Please be patient and stay tuned. Team Audax loves you all, and appreciates all of our loyal readers.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

St.Thomas USVI > Tortola BVI

I'm in Road Town, Tortola, BVI. Two days ago I flew from Miami to St.Thomas USVI, then took a cab from the airport to Red Hook to reunite with Team Audax. The next morning, Jordi and our special guest Kate showed up and we cast off for the steam to Tortola. During this trip, it became quite evident: WE'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE. Steep mountains, hillside villas, and chartered sailboats everywhere! Just getting familiar with the town now... kinda quiet since there's no cruise ships in town right now. Many businesses only open when cruise ships are in town. In fact, I'm typing this from a bar that is CLOSED. See? Here's a shot taken right from where I sit as I type this post. You can see my laptop power cord bootlegging its way into the closed bar...... and a couple hot chicks I met here:
This is the backyard at the Gordon Compound, Coconut Grove, Miami. Major props, once again, to Stephanie for her hospitality! Thanks, Steph! You rock!:
This is Steph's cat Rerun. She denies ownership of this cat, since Rerun sorta adopted HER. Rerun pretty much lives outside at the Gordon Compound, and she feeds him and leaves him water. He was my little buddy when I would hang out on the deck.
Road Town, Tortola, BVI:
THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!:






That's Red Hook, St.Thomas, in the background. I'll go back there soon. Jammin' nightlife scene there:

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Van Halen....

....sucked.

Van Halen: BankAtlantic Center, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Wednesday, February 20th, 2008:

SETLIST:
You Really Got Me
Show Your Love
Runnin' With The Devil
Romeo Delight >
Magic Bus >
Romeo Delight
David Lee Roth harmonica / megaphone solo
Somebody Get me a Doctor >
Mississippi Queen >
Somebody Get me a Doctor
Beautiful Girls
Dance the Night Away
Atomic Punk
Everybody Wants Some
So This is Love
Mean Street
Pretty Woman
Alex Van Halen drum solo
Unchained
I'll Wait
And the Cradle Will Rock
Hot for Teacher
Little Dreamer
Little Guitars (sans intro, which was attempted during Eddie's solo)
Jamie's Cryin'
David Lee Roth monologue about partying in high school >
Ice Cream Man
Panama
Eddie Van Halen guitar solo
Ain't Talkin' About Love

ENCORE: 1984 > Jump



They sucked.

PREFACE: Last year, Van Halen was close to embarking on the David Lee Roth reunion tour, when it had to be postponed, due to Eddie Van Halen entering a rehab for alcoholism / drug addiction. Eddie then issued a public statement to his fans, on his website, saying that he felt it was the best course of action because he wanted to be able to deliver 100% performances out on tour, and felt his performances would be compromised if he attempted to tour before getting sober. Now, fast forward to yesterday afternoon. I had lunch in "The Grove" (Coconut Grove, Miami) and met a very friendly local who is very well "connected" in the music biz. So well connected, in fact, that his identity is intentionally omitted here. He told me that he was backstage at a recent Van Halen show, and how Eddie was sloppy drunk and played like shit. This saddened me. Bummer. I hoped it wasn't true, and gave the situation the benefit of the doubt. Maybe Eddie had one off night, or my "connected" new friend somehow misinterpreted the backstage goings-on.

So, on to the show: It did not take long... just a song or two... to deduce that it was.... "off". As a band, they were very "loose" - the opposite of "tight". David Lee Roth and Eddie Van Halen were taking way too many improvisational liberties with their vocals and guitar chops, respectively. The timing was off, hence the "loose" non-tight feel. Now I will itemize....

DAVID LEE ROTH (vocals): Not up to task. Rather than singing vocals melodically, the lyrics were chanted in monotone, most often way off cue, and sometimes omitted entirely. There were attempts at vibrato, which just made his voice cut out in a quick rythmic fashion. He sounded as if he may have been OK during the first few shows of the tour, but his voice just became fatigued over time. It was definately a chore for him to work the lyrics through the show. To quote Stephaine Gordon: "Dave's not doin' 'em any favors!" - I concurred. Visually, he was his showman self. Vegas cabaret meets vintage rocker. He obviously trained long and hard in the gym for this tour, as he was lookin' super ripped and fit.

EDDIE VAN HALEN (guitar): Big disappointment. His timing was very loose, right from the get-go. Tone was OK, leads were missing flash. He was not very animated, but hey - the guy has a fake hip, so we'll let that one slide. I couldn't help but wonder about what my friend at lunch had told me.... was Eddie drunk? It appeared as if that certainly could be the case, but I was not certain. Another "benefit of the doubt" scenario. But then came his solo. There were butchered attempts at "Little Guitars Intro" and "Eruption", but his solo consisted mainly of extented whammy bar dives, and Hendrixesque feedback wails and percussive tremelo dive improvisations. The more I watched, and waited for him to pull it together into something impressive, the more I realized: He was obviously quite drunk. Trust me, people, I know the signs. The huge jumbotron screen behind him was NOT doing him any favors. Frustrated with sloppy attemps at flashy leads, he retreated aft to his wall of faux EVH stacks and fell to the ground for another extended set of whammy bar feedback dives. Obviously, an intentional time killer for him. At this point, Stephanie turned to me and said "Am I supposed to be impressed by this?" No, Stephanie, you're not. And neither was I. I was cringing inside and felt sad for Eddie as I watched in disbelief. When his solo was over, he walked up to the front of the stage, shrugged his shoulders and looked at the crowd with a look that said something like "..oh well... I tried...". It was sad. The show went on. His playing got worse. He kept messing with his guitar cable, which was getting snagged on his monitor / effects pedals as he attempted to leave the confines of stage left. As he tugged hard on the cable over and over, in a red-faced tantrum, he would actually stop playing. At one point, Eddie actually fell onto his mic stand, toppling it over as he landed on his effects pedals. Trust me, folks, this is NOT part of the show. Those Custom Audio Electronics pedals are expensive. Not very proffessional, in my unproffessional asessement. It all culminated in the encore of "Jump", when the wheels just finally came off the bus. It's a damn good thing that song is centered around a keyboard riff (played from backstage by who knows who), because this keyboard riff served as the glue which held a song together that otherwise might have been aborted entirley. It was that bad. At the end, Eddie was clearly drunk and frustrated - hopefully at himself. He threw his guitar backstage; and I mean threw it FAR. He was by the drum riser, and from where he stood, backstage left was about 25 feet away. It crash landed backstage and immediately let out that harsh electronic "HUMMMM" that fans are never supposed to hear. We all heard it... loud and long. He staggered forward for his obligatory "thank you" bows with the band. He then yelled something into Wolfgang's ear, as he did throughout the night, and they all walked off backstage right. As Eddie walked offstage, he accidentally staggered into one of his faux EVH stack amps, almost knocking it over. He then punched one of the speaker cabinets (ouch - that's gonna leave a mark) and intentionally knocked the stack over to finish the job. OH, to be a fly on the wall backstage after that show! I can only imagine!

God bless you, and good luck to you Eddie. I sincerely hope you find the help that you need.

WOLFGANG VAN HALEN (bass) & ALEX VAN HALEN (drums): Major props to these guys. They held down every song, so that it could remain identifiable, despite each song being butchered by Dave and Eddie. This is a rhythym section's mission in life, and they did it well. Again, props. A true "the show must go on" mentality, which I think is very proffessional. They were obviously not really enjoying themselves, particularly Wolfgang, who had minimal to no stage presence, and was clearly void of any enthusiasm.

In conclusion, it was no big surprise. I've always thought - in my opinion - that Sammy Hagar is ten times the performer that "Diamond Dave" is, and Eddie's personal woes are no real secret to anyone who is as obsessed with guitar rock as much as I am. Eddie is a legend (at least to me, anyway) and it was sad to watch. I'm not mad, as a music consumer. I'm sad as an Eddie Van Halen fan. Get it together, bro. I'm rootin' for ya.

"Remember that we deal with alcohol: cunning, baffling, POWERFUL. Without help, it is too much for us."

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

A Multi-Sensory Experience

Words cannot do this justice, but I gotta at least try. Watch the above video. Now, let me add the following: When the pack zooms by, the sound is DEAFENING. Hurts so good. About 1.6 seconds after the main pack passes by, you get SLAMMED with a burst of racecar-generated wind containing the strong smell of combusted race fuel, and just a hint of burnt rubber. This wind burst also pelts you with tiny little chunks of debris such as track dirt and greebles of molten race tire rubber. It's just plain awesome. I giggled a little every time they went by at speed. A true multi-sensory experience of sight, sound and smell. I loved it.

Fun Times in Florida

As you may already know, I am on a "surgical strike" in Florida right now, to see the Daytona 500 and Van Halen. Chelsi was in Orlando for business, so we went to Busch Gardens and the Daytona 500 together.

Then I took a Greyhound bus from Orlando to Miami. I do NOT recommend traveling by bus. Spend the extra money and take a plane like normal people do. As I say to myself whenever I am in WalHell... "Oh, the humanity". Feeling down on yourself? Having a bad day? Think life isn't fair? Frustrated because you can't find your favorite pair of shoes, or you get bad cel reception sometimes? I have an easy solution: Go hang out at a Greyhound bus station... you don't even have to book travel. Just go hang out at the station for, say, 30 minutes or so. Check out the people.... listen to their woes. Smell the smells.... watch the filthy toddlers run about unsupervised. Absorb the scenery. When you leave, and get into your clean SUV headed back to Starbucks, Dr.Steve predicts you will be overwhelmed with gratitude and will have forgotten whatever insignificant problem you were fretting over beforehand. "Oh, the humanity".

I digress...

I am now at Miami Steph's, really diggin' her hospitality, and just chillin' out, preparing myself mentally for Van Halen to give it to me in the earholes tomorrow night. Here's some footage of Orlando adventures with Chelsi. Thank you, Chelsi! You rock!:

Funnels, anyone? (no, we didn't):

Our seats had a great view of pit road:



Hi, Junior! Yup, he's waving right at me! We go way back.... he's yelling "Hey, Steve!" as I snapped this picture.... look closely:
Hi, Chels!:
Hi, Tony! (booooooo):
Hi, DJ!:


Busch Gardens parking lot. We didn't wanna carry the camera all around the park, but we wanted documentation, so..... this is what you get. That's the coaster "Montu" in the background. For those who haven't been to Busch Gardens in a while, they have some GNARLY-ass roller coasters now! The Python is gone, The Scorpion is there but antiquated, and there are other newer scarier ones now.... really intense ones. We rode them all:
Here's the view from her condo balcony. To quote Chelsi - "You should see the balcony at the condo..... you can see where the people go boing boing boing..." - She was referring to the bungee slingshot ride in the background. Her quote was to reverberate throughout the weekend:
Fishies in a pool outside a Japanese restaurant we went to. They are really packed in like.... umm.... sardines:
Funny Daytona 500 story - During the race, Chelsi was asking why everyone kept boo-ing Jeff Gordon. I couldn't really explain, for two reasons... A) It's a long story, and you couldn't talk every time the deafening pack of cars raced by and B) You have to be very careful when you talk about drivers controversially in this environment, lest you incite a riot, or at least a drunken verbal tirade from a hardcore fan. I'm not joking.... they take this stuff SERIOUSLY down here. It's like a religion. So... as we were walking back to the car after the race, Chels says... "NOW can you tell me why everyone boo's at Jeff Gordon?". I couldn't right then, due to reason B above. But I had an idea... There were two hardcore local semi-intoxicated race fans walking right in front of us. I tactfully and carefully tapped one on the shoulder... "I have a question... could you please explain to my friend Chelsi here why everyone hates Gordon so much?"
His reply (in a thick southern drawl): "Cuz he's a f*ckin' faggot."
We laughed our asses off. I could not have summed it up any better with twenty minutes of college vocabulary. It took a local who talks good.